RARA AH AH AH ROMA MAH MAH

i had a fun durin my mid sem breaks last week . it was a blast . never been happier . that kind off life i have always wanted . so here were things that had happened in my life last week

i wore dress
i wore make up
im feelin sexy
i met new friends
SHISHA ( finally i tried it out )
hangin out at Bukit Bintang till dawn
flirtation involved in my everyday life last week
met drunk guy
i really had FUN
confidence all around me
i ve become me .

and last but not least i met FID (:

i ve known that guy almost three years , we have been always on the phone till morning . and i just couldnt believe i finally get to see him . so we watched movies , makan , shopping . jalan jalan . it was fun . i felt like i dont want to go back , i wish i could just stay lepakin wit him for one day. it was funny actually , how we met . both of us were like really broke , dua dua tade credit , imagine that , mcm mana mau jumpa , so we planned that we would meet at pavilion fountain , i told him that was the m,ost romantic spot ever , meetin someone near fountain (:

we laughed and doin stuff . it was cool , i never thought that i'd be so friendly like i was with him , its like our first meetin isnt the first time we met , its like we were frens taht always been lepakin . plus aku bukan jadik pemalu sama dia , aku jadik diri aku sendiri (:

the unhealthy diet program

i am on an unhealthy diet , which soup's diet .

actually diet tue healthy haha

the diet works for a week , so it has been 4 days now . dan dlm rangka masa 4 hari aku langsung tak sentuh nasik , bole counts la ape bnda yg aku mkn , hari2 aku mkn bihun tomyam , tu pun ptg jea , so aku mkn sekali sehari !

selain diet tue , aku cuba utk try long walk around de campus , so everyday , i would go around de campus , jalan2 tanpa sebab , well im not a fan of joggin , tp aku suka berjalan2 , tp kalo berjalan smapi ke klcc dan pavillion tue bkn berjalan namanya

so lets see hows de things goin to work , kecik sikit kah , semakin besar kah . tp aku nk latih lah diri aku , just to , you know , nak amek 1 meal per day , mcm mak aku buat , mak aku semakin susut .. percaya tak aku langsung tade cravin pon utk mkn nasik , mcm relek jea . tak mengidam apa apa

serious , cerita ini bukan la rekaan semata mata okay .

aku nak kurus ! :) i know bnda nie akan ambil masa lama , lama sgt tak pasti iman aku teguh atau tak ... ohh yea , i went out td pergi jj , teman kawan yg mau crik broadband , rasa mcm malas tp bila fikir , dia selalu ikut aku kemana mana aku ajak , so let me return de favour la , tp takdpt nk teman kan dia trus ke klcc , sbb aku teda mood dan mls utk kesana , well dats de least i can do kan . tp dets not de thing aku nk ckp , aku cuma nk ckp , for de first time , aku teman owg g mekdi , aku tade rasa mcm nk mkn , so de conclusion is , aku tak mkn mekdi , tp i did bought cheese cake lahh :)

so hari ni cuma mkn cheese cake , and ptg nt nak beli tomyam / sup jea , maybe soup lahh sbb da 3 ari mkn tomyam ( bihun ) tiada nasi yea utk minggu nie !

well wish me luck guys

there is alot fish in de sea

kawan dtg dan pergi . susah kte nak stick wit one friend for de rest of our lives kan , unless kalo kau jenis yg tak reti nak bergaul mengongkong :)

suka atau tak kena terima , itu la hidup !

kalo tak ikot cara dia , kite tggalkan dia , tak pun dia yg tggalkan kite . okay ihve to admit , aku jenis tak byk bunyi , aku main ikut jea , sooo , my point is , dem , im lost .

anyhoo , love it or not ( aduh sama jea point aku )

byk lg ikan di laut , hari ni kte ikut ikan jerung ke lautan pasifik , mana tau esok lusa kite jumpa ikan paus , kite ikot dia plak ke lautan hindi . harap saya tdak jumpe ikan pelik pelik la , kalo tak , nt ikan tu bawak saya pergi jauh ke dasar laut yg gelap mcm cter finding nemo yg "just keep swimmin , keep swimmin , keep swimmin "

words vomit

i cant stand it anymore ,


i mean my life , my whole fuckin life . why can i just be like the others , that doesnt realy gve a shit about others shitty life . why can i just be like , goin out havin fun , badadabadum stuff


i cant realy deal wit criticsm and compliments. i just cant . both of the situation makes me depressed , like literally , i cried , i cried and no one there to wipe away my tears . it was so sad you know . you know sometimes its kinda awkward when i received compliments , it felt like , err , realy whut did i do ? its like i dont deservd to be complimented , and its apply the same way too criticsm .


but  i do act like cool , sayin its okay and stuff . sometimes i dont mind at all , but after all , well i m just sicked lil psycho whore.


what if fat was like new thing , you know new trend fashion bla bla bla , well atleast i'l know  i wont felt the same way like i did / do now


there was one time , when i suffered a lot , i mean like , you know depressed and then few came out to me and said , hey you are not that fat , well you looked good , and stuff , and i was like , i know it wasnt that much but , it somehow cheer me up lil bit and seconds after that i got critic by the way i look and stuff , and this whole kinda crashed down my emotions , its like i dont know what to believe in , who to believe in


it was just , perrrrfff .


i asked myself , why cant i be like someone who i met on the street , some random girls , huge girls , which some of them were like huge and bigger than me , they were all like happy , you know , they knew how to look good , they were all confident and i guessed no one says bad thiing about them , you know stuff like , man she is huge blablabla , but when it comes to me , i have always feel like , you know , everyone's been lookin down on me , been sayin things . why cant i be like them , they are huge , plus there is always a man holding their hand , hugging them , and they seem happy , and i asked myself , who is gonna do that to me ? that exact same thing . i bet it must felt so welcomed , you know , felt like you were like realy belong in the society and nobody hates you because you are fat .

this is me and im fat , and i am proud , oh yess , fuckin proud ! baby !

saosin

SAOSIN CONCERT

yay yay

SAOSIN CONCERT   x x x x

i am not goin .

sedey kan ?

beria ia aku nak pegi . tp takpe la . tiada jodoh !

it is okay , am not as excited as kalo Jonas Bros in town , im bein sarcastic actualy

i am sad , cuz im not goin to see saosin , due to unable to assist for financial helps from my parents  , so ya , sorry saosin , i love your music but your ticket's way tooo expensive for me to afford especially in this current situation , my bank account are nearly close to zero and i am desperately lookin for a part time job just to sustain my current life as a student before i bang! bang! myself

̿' ̿'\̵͇̿̿\з=(•̪●)=ε/̵͇̿̿/'̿ ̿' ̿         and before i go nasty wit mr bank ! bank ! 


anyways 


no saosin no saosin . 


say hello to a boring and sad life , bibiana 

angel of filthy souls

NAncy

Sid

who killed Nancy ?

Sid ?

not gonna talk about Nancy and Sid or Sid and Nancy

saya rasa saya jenis owg yg sgt cepat bosan , dgn sesuatu , atau ape ape aje . kadang kadang smpai satu masa tue saya rasa tak tahan dan saya rasa nak menjerit sepuas hati ! walaupun owg akan anggap saya gila , tp tdak mengapa janji saya merasa puas dan lega .

kadang kadang saya lemah sgt . lemah dgn segala gala nya . saya selalu fikir mcm nie

i lost interest in life cuz there's always a person like you around ;

tp bila fikir fikir , kenapa saya pulak nk lost interest , bukan hidop saya cuma untuk saya , cuma saya saja

malas saya nak berkata kata kadang , malas utk mendengar , penat ! kadang saya rasa hairan , kenapa saya bole bertahan dan kenapa saya tak bole bertahan

anyways , it is not worth a fight

filthy soul , why you just cant seem to understand ?

----------------this is the line dat divides it all -----------------------

why women are so complicated and why they said men are simple ?

men are simple , but women are realy complicated , they really do . trust me

men say A

women understand what A is but they tend to figure what A is in 1000 possible ways and 2500 impossible ways

when men says I like You

it means they like you , they do

but when it comes to women's channel of intrepretin social comunication skills
they think men like them as in love them , cant live without them and they want to fuck 'the' men so bad

betul kan , tipu la kalo sumer pompuan kata , takde lah aku cool jea , aku rilek jea mamat tu ckp dia suka aku , as kwn kan bkn ape pon . bodo lahh nak menipu pun tak reti , dlm hati , suke glea , walupon dia tade nafsu atau perasaan kat mamat tue , as longg as mamat tue ckp suka .

anyway , most you akan ckp wtf ? im sure you guys didnt realy get/got the point . me neither .
the first few paragraph im talkin about shit of life , teh last paragraph im talkin about men and women crap

saosin

minat saosin ?

sa-o-sin

hahhh . the boys are comin to town baby .

haha excited berabis ! i hve found new click ! nahh bole pegi tgk saosin . it is nice tau once kita kenal owg yg layan , i mean in terms of music , sesuatu yg sama mcm kita . susah nak crik kwn yg sama layan mcm ape yg aku suke . once dah jumpe , layannn! baru best ! kalo tak , aku hanya bole bermimpi . bermimpi nak tgk band band hardcore live depan mata aku . bila aku nak bercerita nan kawan kawan , sape minat beb . diaorg cuma bole senyom , dan ckp ohh ye ke . ea ? wow , ohh .


anyway , im goin to catch the boys live , here in malaysia . hopefulllly! ticket limited kot .
goin to buy ticket next week . besok nak shopping baju / dress for their concert
nahhhhhhh semangat !

emotionalisme

2010 ! hello ! 


tade resolution utk aku ceritakan . tade juga benda2 yg aku rasa nk sedey pasal nak tggal kan 2009 . move on okay ! 


aku rasa kali nie  post aku , aku nak emo sket . actualy , benda nie aku dah karang masa aku dalam class busines mathematics . tetiba aku terbuai dek perasaan dalam class , aku jenis yg mmg ingt setiap benda kecuali dlam pembelajaran :)) 


so this is it ; 


stop questionin me . questionin all of things i have done . stop askin me why . have a little respect , please ? 
i can do whatever i want , whenever i feel like it , and with who i want to do it . *sory grammar teruk* 
it is all about me . i am not spoiled . it is not my fault when you dont realy acknowledge things i wanted to do . i am just livin my life . thats just it . i dont want to regret things i should have , could have , would have done . 
I LIVE MY LIFE . i dont want to be like you ! you just couldnt have a sweet life like mine . if i ever felt like i want to break the rules , let me ! just let me . let me taste my own bittersweet world . 




so you guys must be wonderin ? kenapa ? apa kah sebab nya . it was just that , aku sedeh . tak pernah owg nk respect benda yg aku nk wat , benda aku minat , benda aku suke . jangan tanya kenapa , bila aku punya interest ke arah sesuatu yg mungkin bagi korg , tak bagus . tak elok . setiap owg ade dia punya interest kan . come on lahh . respect ! tue jea . 


susah sgt ? aku baru nak ade life . baru nak ade . sedangkan owg lain dah lama dah ade . 
aku bukan lah teman utk masa kebosanan jea . bila diri terasa keseorangan , tiade teman , baru lah nama BIBIANA terpacul dari mulut . sebelom nie ? tak pun . 


aku nie jenis ikot owg . bibiana jom , bibiana nieee , bibiana tueee . aku lak , layan . tp bila time aku . zzzzzzzzzz . mana pegi ? seolah olah aku nie owg jaat yg tak perlu di ikut . huhhh . 


respect 


respect 


respect 


kata uia , poyo jea lebey ! 


mampos ahh! 

merry , merry . christmas ?

hey its christmas time ! 


actualy im dreamin of white christmas , but i know dats not goin to happen . 


anyways im not a christian so y am so psyched about christmas ? 


well maybe it is because de celebration ! wit santa , presents and stuff . 


but bibiana, santa doesnt really exist except one at the shoppin mall , apparently those wearin red santa's shirts / pyjamas / costume  and fake long white beard are actualy fat people who got paid by pretendin to be a SANTA . boo you ! 


anyhoo . wuts you guys punya plan . tell me about it . come on it cant be worst than mine . haha douuccchhhe ! 
im goin to rock the world . yeah i know . 2009 was like , the best year EVER ! y i said that , because apparently all of my dreams or things dat got  to do wit my wishlist became a reality . like yeahhhhh . 


first , i met tyson . yeah i know i couldnt stop talkin bout him anyway . i know its bored but bear wit me guys !  dat was someting unbearable psyched for me . its  pleasently suprised me also . enough bout tyson although i already knew thers gonna be a constant and unstoppable updates about him 


secondly , i became more closer to my family , i never been feelin like so fuckin happy , i could just talk and talk and talk about everytin , anytin wit my mak , my abah , and my adik adik . dulu i seemed so distance i barely even talk to em except when i am in need of financial assitance , well of course . 


thirdly , all of the things dat i want  it so badly , like dkny perfume , and havin bills on my own fuckin name and some other things which clearly i dont realy want to talk about it . 


and yeah except for one list . FINDIN A BOYFRIEND . i believe it is / will / would never realy goin to happen in , maybe 5 or 6 yeaarsss . im goin to be a virgin for the rest of my life . 






dear santa , i wish for a boyfriend , i want a middle east boyfriend , Egyptian in particular , british will do . and yeah also american . so im hangin this christmas socks next to my bed , since i dont have a fire place . i hope when i wake up tomorow morning , theres goin to be a present inside my sock . oh yeah i would just probably hangin one sock cuz i cant realy haf two boyfriends at the same time . 

confused

every morning i would listen to JJ & Ean . i never missed em . oh except this morning , i was sicked sampai aku jadik malas nak dengar ape ape . anyways JJ & Ean , sgt sgt funny . have u guys dgr their new parody ? i think dat was one of the best parody they had so far .

i would woke up as early as 6 am utk bukak radio jea . then i will be like ,  in two state of mind either im sleepin and im awake . half asleep half awake . which kadang kadang rasa mcm dlm mimpi and the only thing dat kinda freak me out was dat i could still hear their voices . kadang kadang gelak dan senyom tp aku maseh dlm keadaan confused , confused sama ada aku betul betul bangun atau aku masih tido .

so yeah dats my everyday routine lahh .

bibiana ; life isnt a fairy tale

hello , been away for a week . a week i guessed . oh yeah the problem of settllin my bills of course . i had money issue , so wut . it  wasnt sometink uncommon , not payin bills , kena barred etc etc . sume owg ade issue payments kan ? nahh kinda pissed off since everyones makin a joke about me not payin bills . duhh , bak duwet kaw byrkan bill aku ! gelak gelak plak . 


hahhh i think im done wit dat :) 


jangan lah marah kakak ! 


for the past few weeks , i mean since masuk sem baru nie . i came across few new things which sometimes kita sedar atau tak sedar . its regardin USIN and BEIN USED . mined my vocab , grammar , i know im suck at it . 


tanpa kita sedari kan , kita nie kadang2 mempergunakan owang dan juga dipergunakan at the same time TANPA kita sedari . we were like foolin and fooled by others . dan lebih menyedihkan bila kita rasa kita nie tak dihargai dan tak dihormati . 


kadang kadang orang yg kita tak suka tue lah teman kita masa kita susah , dlm situasi aku nie , aku perantau . dan aku takde sape dekat KL , ade tp tak ade . hal aku hal aku , hal kaw hal kaw , dat sorts of thhing lahh . kadang kadang mereka yg kita least expected yg tolong kita dpd orang yg which kita thought was gonna help us in any sort of way . dat upset me sometimes . 


life . wut do i realy know bout life . 


who knows . who cares . who cares 


dats the main idea of manipulatin mind of so called human being . 


trust ? y would i trust you ? when you just threw me away when u felt like im not worthed anymore . im not talkin about guys or boys . in general lahh . 


manipulatin mind . you should be shamed of your fuckin self . sadly u never realy did , didnt ya ?  

saturday nite baby

kembali di asrama ! :) 


had fun glea semalam . like seriously ! seawal pukul 7 aku da bangun , tp bangun utk men-snooze kan alarm di telefon bimbit aku . ( skema glea guna *telefon bimbit* ! tp utk praktis lahh kan , short sem nak amek BM yo ! ) lepas tu aku smbung tdo blik smpai kul 1000 am anyways , mcm biasa berjanji utk jumpa vanessa dekat monorel chow kit , mls pulak nak singgah apartment dia , so aku pikir lagi bagus aku tggu dekat monorel kan . 


gerak kuar dr uia kul 1030 am . mcm biasa teda masa lahh psl bas penuh . tade sape nek metro kot ... ye ahh dahh ahh mahal rm2.50 tak la mahal sgt standard lahh tp aku kata mahal sapal aku sengkek ! tp yg aku pelik kan , asal tambang dr chowkit smpai uia rm1.90 ? tp uia chowkit rm2.50 . sama jea tp lantak lahh i dont give a fuck mcm mana pakcik2 pengurusan bas menguruskan hal ehwal tambang . 


smpai monorel 1130 am , and i was there for an hour , si vanessa ckp jonathan belom bangun . and yeah aku di situ memerhati owg sekeliling . mcm mcm ragam . biase lahh . nmpak ade satu fmily , tba tba teringt my parents , ahh dilema rendu aku berlagu lagi . cess , dgn pantas aku menekan butang speed dial mamak ( emak bukan mamak as in mamak , the indian muslim , okay ) , tba tba teringat , takkan aku nk btau mamak aku yg aku nak enjoy . lantas aku mati kan panggilan . 


last last  si vanesa dan jonathan smpai . so yeah bersembang . but the whole time dorunk dua jea sembang aku tukang gelak and senyom jea . aku kena warm up dulu , hikhik aku kan mcm tue , aku kan penyegan dan pemalu , kasik enjin panas duluuu ! 


smpai pavillion , kiteowg mkn dulu dkat oldtown oh wait sebelom tue pegi tgk exhibition kereta di tepi pavi tue , all those fancy car ferarri , lotus , lambo, hummer best glea ! tak minat pon kete , tp yea la since mcm kompom jea kau tak mampu nak ade kete mewah ape lahh salah mengesek2 kan sket jari aku kt kete kete tersebut tak amek gamba sbb aku tak minat nk bergamba nan kete! 


haa anyway cerita di meja makan , urm , biarlah tggal dimeja makan , tp  masa makan dorunk bersembang psl diet , aku kan a good listener and a constant observant . dorunk bebudak medic , so yeah im totaly out of the league , tp it was fun , as in i learned stuff dat i dont know . 


lepas mkn , jalan2 , beli tiket , nk tgk princess and the frog tp ended up tgk zombieland sbb tiket princess da abes . pastu jalan jalan lagi . movie , mkn popcorn , pegi lowyat blah blah blah mkn mekdi . 


lepas tu kembali ke pavi balik sbb nak tggu snow ! tade lah snow betul , it was just a bubble . tp syok glea . ramai glea owg dekat main entrance pavi tue . u guys should pergi tau ! best . kalo ade camera slr lg best amek gamba ! sbb deco christmast dekat pavi sgt cantek ! 


lepas tue i decided to not goin back to uia hehehe . stayed a nite at van's lg pun aku tak berani balik mlm2 tggu bas kt chow kit , nk jln g klcc pon kena sowg2  . tue lah we ended up melepak dekat gloria jeans , bercerita glea glea neh dorunk ! mcm2 cerita ! dan juga mengusha mamat mamat foreigner . woish sgt sgt kool sbb aku suke usha mamat mamat foreigner sowg2  kt uia neh , neh jumpa geng , at least ade juga kwn utk aku gedik2 . anyway , abaikan de gatal side of me ! 


lepas itu , i kinda noticed kiteowg duduk bersebelahan dgn a bunch of foreign street hookers , sbb yg aku perasan dorunk akan ckp dgn random guys tp takkan la tue kwn dorunk kan , sbb bila mamat tue blah dorunk ckp plak nan owg lain , pastu mamat tue blah , pastu ckp plak nan mamat lain . anyway , takpe lahh . minah minah arab neh mencarik rezeki agaknya . 





aishhh . wut a dayyy ! 

a letter to Tyson Ritter

dear Tyson .

i just dont realy know why i am so into you . fine ! i lied ! i know why . i love you because your music is fuckenn kewl ! cliche` ? yeah i know !

i love you because you have a big and round puppy eyes

i love you because you are hillarious

i love you because you cant really dance but still , i love you !

i love your dorky laugh

i love your uncomb and messy hair . it was just fine wit you .

i love the way you talk , i watch each and every vlog u made .

i love seein you on the phone wit your mom and your sister , bailey ! you are such a sweet boy !

I JUST LOVE YOU TYSON RITTER

even more after i met you in person . after i finaly get to hold you , after you smiled at me my heart melt ! and im lost , my impaired vision only sees you and not a chance for another guy except gerard butler and shia labeouf , well they are both is another case of my addiction .

but im just a fan , you'd probably didnt even know .

but how could i blame you , you are a rockstar and im just a lonely desperate fugly girl , dat been keepin all of your photos , even your video and stuff .

alexisonfire

post bosan sang pelajar yg bongkak dan sengkek

ye aku seorang pelajar

yee aku bosan

yee aku bongkak . tak , aku tak bongkak sebenarnya . walopon pada hakikatnya aku suke main congkak

yeee aku sengkek .

sengkek ! memang aku sengkek ! nafsu aku besar , tp aku sengkek ! jiwa aku nie menjerit2 "bibianaaa jom lah keluar " kata jiwa aku yg sangap nie kepada diri aku yg innocent

* sebenarnya penggunaan ayat yg aku nak ialah decent , tp setelah cikgu gugelee a.k.a puan eleza mengajar aku cara penggunaan ayat decent . maka aku pangkah kan penggunaan tersebut

anyways . sengkek . itulah tema kehidupan aku sehingga duwet ptptn aku masok .

* aku bukan lahh seorang pelajar cemerlang yg mendapat sponsor dpd jpa , tp aku maseh mengharapkan pinjaman ptptn aku menjadik biasiswa ..... bak kata lecturer aku , students are human capital and government should fully pay for all tuition fees and abolish all kind of study loans or watever u kids call it dis days , cuz after graduation you will be a worker , worker dat plays a part of establishin economic growth and nation development

pada mulanya susah aku nk paham ape lecturer aku ckp . tp selepas satu sem , baru aku paham , tue pun sebab dia akan ulang bnda yg sama jea lam class , dialog yg sama , lawak yg sama . tp dia baek , dia kasik carry mark yg byk , walopon aku da 6 kali tak dtg class , tp tiade rekod surat amaran ! aku bersih okay . kecuali aku dpt utk fardu ain . dan aku tak paham kenapa uia mewujudkan subjek yg kena amek dua tiga kali tak cukup ke masa kt cenfos ? ( tp masa kat cenfos aku tak pernah sekali pon trun fardu ain , tu yg terbwk bwk , okay aku tipu , aku pernah pegi . tp 2 3 kali jea )

haihh . mendengus panjang aku tgk aku nya study plan . byk lagi nie . aku plak suke amek 4 subjek setiap sem . urm . owg lain plg sket 5 atau 6 . aku , 4 jea . tua la aku kt uia .

ohhh lupa aku sebenarnya bkn nk membebel pasal uia . aku nk ckp aku sengkek !

buku kena beli , tp dwet tade . mcm mana tue ? pastu masuk2 sem jea kena beli brg2 atau stock2 .. fmily aku kasik rm 200 jea . tu pon da abes sbb aku pegi beli brg2 tuk bilik , toileteries , dynamo , dan pelbagai juadah mkanan ringan . itu la yg aku tak suke bila jao dr fmily . owg lain , parents siap belikan awl2 , brg suma da lengkap , pastu nt kasik duwet poket lain , aku ? itu la duwet poket aku , itula duwet nk beli brg .

tp agak bernasib baek sem nie dan juga sem sebelom2 nya aku cuma pjm buku text kwn2 y da ambik subject , sem nie pon kira naseb aku baek , sbb aku cuma kena beli satu jea buku text . tu pun sbb sem nie pakai syllabus bru , kalo tak , bole jea pakai buku kwn aku .

besok ade temu janji sama vannesa and her friend , jonathan .

bajet ? rm 50 . cukop kan ? muvie and makan ! pastu jln2 , tak sopin. sopin tggu ptptn lahhhh ..

ahhh aku nie tak padan nan sengkek !

mak aku salu compare aku nan adek aku , mak aku kata aku nie tak suke menabung . bapak aku kata aku nie suke buang duwet . nenek aku kata aku boros , makcik aku kata aku nie tak bole tgk dwet . jiran aku tak kata apa apa

kisah di bilik mandi

adakah aku mmg tgh sewel atau the siamese girl next door just said hello to me ?

tetiba jumpa kt toilet dia tego aku mcm happy glea lahh . mcm excitehd lak jumpe aku . haha

siap ckp " i asked your roomate where were you cuz i havent seen you"

disebabkan aku bru smpai ari neh dikala owg lain sudah mula berada diclass , so dia tertnya . concern betul!

aku tak percaya dia begitu ramah siap ajak aku bersembang2 di bilik mandi . ini kerana bilik mandi ade lah tempat pertemuan para para penduduk ostel tingkat 4 block G . jangan pikir yang lain2 !

kenapa aku tak caye dia ramah ? sbb dia ade lah salah satu stock umpatan aku dan roomate aku !

kenapa ? sbb ingat dia sombong! tak pernah senyom , and bebudak thai bilik sebelah suke menjeling bak kata roomate aku . tp aku tak pernah di jeling ! aku kan sentiasa senyom tp jarang menegur dan tak berapa ramah ! so dorunk pon agaknya cm tue .

so , jangan mengutuk bila baru berjumpe seseorang

p/s asal aku rasa ayat2 aku mcm tak best ?

Scientist

Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are

I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I've set you apart

Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start

Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on the science apart

Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard

Oh take me back to the start

I was just guessing
At numbers and figures
Pulling the puzzles apart

Questions of science
Science and progress
Do not speak as loud as my heart

Oh tell me you love me
Come back and haunt me
Oh and I rush to the start

Running in circles
Chasing our tails
Coming back as we are

Nobody said it was easy
Oh, it's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be so hard

I’m going back to the start

RESILIENT . LOST . INSECURE . HOPELESS

defines your curent mood Bibiana .

RESILIENT . LOST . INSECURE . HOPELESS

it is more tahn one mood . mixed up and you ended up as a miserable bitch .

which you are not apparently

you just twistin words , to fake sympathy . realy . you are fakin it

whats on your playlist Bibiana ?

The scientist , by Coldplay

why you like dat particular song ?

because i am lost . i need sometin to believe in , so i wont feel so bad bout wut i had done wrong . i just want to feel dat it is okay to make mistake . everyone does dat .

did you realy think by listenin to song you wud feel so relieved ?

YESS . FUCKIN YES . cuz i dont have anybody . no one wants to relieve me . no one wants to say ' bibiana , you are perfect ! and it is okay to make mistake '

i wouldnt wanna believe..............that santa claus isnt for real

have u guys ever had a day dat u guys felt so happy and you guys almost had say hello to everyone you met on the street . and suddenly you guys felt like the whole street was gonna dance wit you .all the birds were flyin free around you . the earth suddenly felt so nice . felt like you were belong . and you felt like you wanted to do some awkward silly dance , everyone around you just stared and laughed at you and might as well join you . have you ever felt like when you walked pass by a fountain suddenly it burst out outrageously wit a the sounds of bach . how amazing isnt it ?

well in the other case of heartbreakin miserable life

have you ever felt like when you walked on the empty street , all alone by yourself . hearin nothin but only your breath dat gaspin for air . though you felt like the air is all around but then you felt like it wasnt for you . suddenly the buildin , the street were all tumblin down . then from far away u saw someone , just like you , you were screamin shoutin like hell then u suddenly realize it was only your shadow , your own shadow left you all alone when all of these years she was always wit you . suddenly she left you helplessly all alone . wut a bitch !

i realized , notin lasts forever . it was just us . it is us who foolishly believe theres a happy endin awaits us . but realy , there isnt . we are just like kids , who does believe santa claus is actualy exists . but the truth is . he isnt for real .

in my place

its almost 6 am !

tak tidur !

greaaaaat! tiade lah drama !

mata aku nantok , tp aku tanak tdo , kang aku tdo ptg baru bgn , lg pon pg neh jnji nak kuar nan my mamak ( mak ) besaok nak balik kl . so wanna spend a day out wit fmily . mkn2 and stuff

listenin to coldplay rite now . jiwa aku jiwa coldplay

setiap bait bait kata lirik yg dikunci oleh Chris Martin sangat menusuk jiwa aku . kalo bole aku nk jadik cm dia , lirik dan lagu dia sangat simple , tp mendalam !

setiap kali aku down aku dgr coldplay , serious ! aku bukan lah peminat , infact aku tade pon beli album dia , dan aku tak tau bape album dorunk dah ade .

bg aku lagu coldplay neh best ! sbb lagu dia sgt honest . tak lah heartbreakin sgt . kan kadang2 kalo layan lagu , ade certain lagu buat kte lagi down , tu yg rasa mcm nak bunuh diri ape sumer . bg aku lagu selain coldplay tu sumer lagu emosi nak kasik pendenagr bunuh diri .

mcm all american rejects , genre lagu dia sumer psl heartbreakin , psl frust , psl putus cinta . since aku tak bercinta aku tak layan sgt lahh . to be honest aku suke all american rejects sbb ade tyson dats all . anyway lgu dia best kan ?

kalo nickelback lak , lagu dia bertemakan 'live yur life' . lgu dia berunsur mcm you know selagi idop neh buat lah ape ape pon , selagi ade masa . and also laggu dorunk memberi aku semangat in findin true love . a fren of mine once told me "dgr lagu Gotta be somebody" . and i never stop listenin to dat song . like never . ari2 aku dgr . THANKS MINT!

ade bakat tak ?

starin at de blank pages again .

y do i haf always feel like this ? i mean . sgt sgt bersemangat utk bloggin . its like i had everytin in mind . but bila nak menaip . bnda tue sumer hilang !

but one thing for sure , kalo aku bloggin aku akan ckp bnda yg sama . which bored me to death . ckp bnda sama like no one wants me , diskriminasi , perasaan . after all ape lah guna nya blog kalo aku asek ckp bnda sama ? kan ? ape yg nak disampaikan sama , cuma cara atau ayat2 jea tak same . but the main point is S-A-M-A !

you all tak bosan ? i mean , bosan dgn hidop , asek buat bnda sama and stuff . tp bila di fikir fikirkan balik , manusia neh da memang di assign kan .

sometimes aku bosan . bosan dgn hidop * get the point ? aku mmg akan ckp psl masalah dan bnda yg sama *

percaya tak kalo aku ckp kat korunk yg aku ade imaginary fren(s) . percaya tak ? . msty owg akan ckp aku gila . but the truth is , aku tak gila . tp bila aku sowg diri , aku akan berckp sowg2 dan membayangkan aku sedang berconversation bersama sowg teman . tp depend lah kalo mood aku rasa macam nak berckp dgn ramai owg , automaticcaly akan ade la 2 3 watak muncul . tempat selalunya aku akan melakukan aktiviti neh , tak lain tak bukan di bilik mandi ! dats y aku mandi lama , aku bkn la mandi lama sebenarnya , tp disebabkan aku tgh berlakon so lama la . kadang smpai sejam aku dlm bilik mandi . dan itu lah perkara yg bapak aku tak gemar , sbb aku akan membazir air , aku biarkan jea air tue terbukak dan aku berlakon berckp sowg2 tp aku pastikan la tade sape dgr , kalo owg dgr tak ke malu den!

tpt kedua plak ; bilik tidur ! tak perlu nak di cerita panjang lebar .

aku juga sgt lah dramatic , kadang2 smpai menangis aku berlakon .

pernah tak korunk mengalami keadaan mcm nie ; korunk tgh berusaha nk tido then korunk berangan dan korunk berangan sampai menangis !

percaya la , aku selalu mcm nie tetiap ari .

dgn erti kata lain , aku sgt lah berbakat jdik pelakon , penulis skrip dan pengarah

sbb setiap cerita yg aku buat pastinya akan mengeluar kan air matra aku sendiri !

ade bakat tak ?

reeeeesuuuullltttttt 3-0

hello

tak bole tdo

I CANT SLEEP

fuck me ?

whooaa bibiana udah2 lahh mencarut .

okay tak mencarut .

BAGUS!

kawan kawan ! ( ade ke kawan kawan nya neh )

saya takot . tetiba saya rasa dihantui ! besok uia nya result kuar kan . haa pasal itu saya takut .

tiba tiba otak saya memikirkan bahawa semua jwpn yang saya buat untuk exam semuanya salah . tiba tiba , masa saya tgh melayari bahtera facebook tercetus sebuah memori semasa saya di exam hall dan otak otak ( err ? ) , otak saya kembali mengimbas skema jawapan saya yang tak berapa nak skema . macam mana kalo jwpn saya tak diterima pakai ? macam mana kalo saya fail ? macam mana saya dimiss ?

saya rasa fobia , tp bkn pasal saya layan phobia 2 tue . saya fobia nan exam dan result exam .

otak saya nie lahh lembab/lembap otak kebab pon tak mcm otak saya .

tp saya cuma insan biasa , insan yang mengharapkan lecturer nya meluluskan walopon tidak mendapat pointer 3 ke atas . janji saya lulus ! bila berckp pasal pointer 3 neh . di sini saya nak buat pengumuman , sesiapa yg mendapat pointer 3 ke atas dan masih kata teruk ! bak sini pointer kau kasik kat aku , tak bersyukur ! dah lahh tak bersyukur , riak pulak tue ditambah dhn hipokrit sbb dia sebenarnya bangga dpt cgpa 3 tapi disebabkan tade owg nak puji dia so dia mula lah

dapat sket jea :) . teruk glea pointer

pastu owg lain kata

alahh awak pandai lahh banyak tue !

adeke 3 dia kate sket ? otak kau sket , otak kau teruk , kalo ko da rase 3 tue teruk , abes aku yg mmg bwh 3 neh ? haaa mcm mana ? mmg lahh teruk . tp statement tue mmg akan mendown kan aku . so sila bersyukur . noktah!

gilea ! sape ?

aku lahh gilea . lain aku nk bloggkan , lain pulak salahsiah aku .

p/s salahsiah bukan lah bermaksud salah si siah

p/p/s bibiana !!!!

p/p/p/s bukan salahsiah its sahsiahh ... google kan lahh mangkuk! *kata bibiana kepada biibiiaaannaa

aku sedar yang aku sememangnya tak paham ape maksud sahsiah

maaf ? \m/

sober!

silence.kills

mendiam kan diri lagi bagus daripada melawan memaki hamun yang pasti tiada kesudahannya . it kills ! bila kita senyap , bila dia senyap , pasti akan rasa sesuatu yang sukar ditafsirkan , bukan cinta dan bukan nya apa apa , it just , bila senyap , mereka akan mentafsir sendiri , kenapa dia senyap ? kenapa ? ia lebih bagus daripada mencaci memaki , tusukan nya lebih tajam , keperitan lebih perit .

thats how i feel these few days , im actin cold and numb , i dont want to talk to anyone , even my own fuckin family . i am not a baby anymore though i know my name rhymes with baby . i hate someone's yellin at me , am i an idiot ? the answer is FUCKIN NO ! i hate when people keep tellin me wut to do , its like none of my opinion does matter . NONE! no one ever listen to me when i said someting , none ever laugh when i told jokes . NO ONE .

TALK TO THE HAND

imma be

i would rather exchange my so fuckin lame life wit someone whom about to die , or someone who is dyin . i bet they do know how to appreciate life more than myfuckinself . on top of that , i dont see any reason why i should be on this motherfuckin planet . tak bersyukur !

anyway , ape ? nak ckp ape ? takde apa ape lahh . im bored !